Welcome to my little corner of the universe. This blog is pretty much my place to ramble, empty the contents of my overthinking brain, and work on myself. I am horribly inappropriate at times and curse a lot. A LOT.

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Truthful Tuesday #2

Bill uploaded all of the wedding pictures to Dropbox today.  Here are just a few of the wedding pictures I really liked and that I was in.  One of my favorites is the last one, the one of Laura, me, and Bill.  And hello cleavage in the picture of me and Pete!

I wasn’t looking forward to dress shopping for this wedding since I had gained a lot of weight back.  I remember hating the way I looked in the pictures from my brother’s wedding back in July 2006 and I was 25 pounds lighter then than I am now.  I wasn’t super pumped about seeing the pictures today.

Here is the reason I have these photos posted for Truthful Tuesday.  I am not cringing when I look at these.  I dug out the pictures from my brother’s wedding and I look so much better than I did then, which doesn’t make sense since I am heavier.

I have been looking at these pictures all day.  I keep looking at them.  And I actually said to myself that I looked pretty damn good in them.  Let me say that again, I actually told myself that I looked pretty damn good.  Even in the one where I am looking back and you can see my whole figure.  When I am standing next to Laura, I don’t look like her huge fat friend (which is how I felt).

It is hard to really put into words what this feels like.  I know I have a long way to go with my depression and my weight and my self image.  This right here?  Me looking at pictures and not immediately seeing all my flaws, thinking that I look good, this is HUGE.  And I am damn near tears writing this because this gives me hope that things will get better.  There is a light at the end of this depressing, godforsaken tunnel and that is what matters.

  1. yixlong said: SO PRETTY! I *LOVE* your dress. <3 :D
  2. squirrelsandswings said: You look radiant :)
  3. arborescent said: Guess what? You DO look damn good! I’m glad you can really see it!
  4. iamjustcara said: yayayayayayay w00t w00t
  5. miss4n6tx said: I think you look great. AND HAPPY which is the most important part!
  6. andsoisyourface said: You look amazing!
  7. stupon said: Good for you. And Go Bears.